This is an inspirational blog that utilizes the medium of poetry and creative writing to tell stories.
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Let the waves of life pass over
You will not be moved
Let the sun beat down
But it will not bring weariness to you
Though enemies will bring war against you
Your heart will know no fear
For the Lord is your strong tower
And laughter is your medicine of choice
You will dance in the spring time
Blooming like seeds planted in good soil
Love always, Esha
Take the time to put the work in. People may not see it. Those who do may not respect it. But in the end your blood, sweat and tears will pay off. Because hard work is its own reward and the skills you cultivate from perfecting your craft will mean more than an easy road to success. The beautiful of life is in the journey. Enjoy the small victories.
Love always, Esha
I do my Father's work
Foraging my dreams from clay
Breathing the breath of life into dirt
I keep it close to my chest
Holding onto it like a newborn child
Maintaining it's importance in my life
Praying and meditating on it
Believing with the faith that grows in my bosom
Understanding that the living word is a well
That never goes dry
Love always, Esha <3
Greetings,
I know I haven't been posting as much as I normally do on this blog. But around the holidays sometimes I get a bit sad. Thinking about the things that once we're that will never be. Looking at the past that came and went so easily. Reminiscing over the desires of yesterday tends to trouble me. But I turn around anyway to catch a glimpse of my childhood and wonder how things changed so quick? Or maybe it was me? Growing and developing in ways that I could never foreseen. Most recently, I have learned to focus on the little things. They make me happy. The small triumphs in the complex web of everyday life. Once you look past the struggle and strife. There are always tidbits of gladness in the seams of melancholy moments.
Love always, Esha <3
The hardest thing to is forgive. You may forget times and places but you always remember how someone made you feel. There is no hurt more painful than losing the hope for positive interactions. When people make us feel bad we internalize that pain. And many take it out on themselves. By believing that they are deserving of poor treatment and wicked words.
Some connections are so broken that communication became improbable. Beyond arguing and yelling there is nothing of value that can be shared between enemies unready to bury the hatchet. How do you let go of the disappointment caused by a relationship gone sour? How do you my move forward with a friend that betrayed your trust? How do you hit pause on the grievances initiated by family gossip?
But at the core of it all, you have to remember that moving on is the best remedy for healing. If you hold on too long... It's possible that you may go down with a sinking ship that's filled to the brim with emotional disdain. Swimming in sadness is the answer for many of us. I have seen people drink the bottle dry. Pop pills till their higher than the afternoon sky. Sniff coke till their noses turn red and they get the sniffles.
Though it alleviates the sting of discomfort. But this does little to remedy the loss of trust. Drugs and alcohol are unable to address the ache in the heart of man. That's why I stopped smoking. I found myself at the end of the blunt and wondered quietly, Why don't I feel better?
It's healthier to deal with life from a sober perspective because the world medicates emotional pain but that solves nothing. So cry your tears. Ask your questions? Read books, dance, sing and shout. Fall down, dust yourself off and figure it out. Because life ain't easy but giving up instead of overcoming distress is much harder.
It is my long held belief that forgiveness starts one step at a time. But it truly takes effect when you forgive yourself. Because the things we endure have a way of intensifying the way we see ourselves for better or for worse. That's why it's best to view yourself the way Jesus does. Or at least try too. His love is never ending. He is loyal beyond the stretch of the imagination. He leaves the 99 to go after the lost sheep and rejoices when it's found. Because He cares for us more than we could ever conceive. So if you think about it, forgiveness is necessary in order to love and live a fuller, happier life.
Love always, Esha
P.S. Check out my podcast Hope Speaks for the new episode Rant on Relationships
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| Image by Debaudh Majee from Pixabay |
Time isn't afforded to us. It is a privilege to those willing to take it no matter the cost they pay. But I find my mind wandering and searching through vague thoughts that send radiating sadness down my spine. Looking at puddles of dirty water that still reflects me. Hardly a day goes by that I don't think about my former life. The good, bad and ugly memories spin and release film that sours my stomach yet brings joyful yet bitter tears to heavy lids. I will ring the bell of triumph and joy when freedom rings. These days I see much sun but the rays have failed to reach my heart. It beats for moments and times that are long gone. How do I fly above the circumstances that have grounded me? The peace that once comforted my soul has dwindled to a small glowing ember. I hold onto its warmth with both hands. My palms may burn but I grip it still. Praying the meager fire will grow and expand once again. In the depth of my despair, I pray that Jesus hears me. He is my comforter, protector and greatest friend. Time has never changed his love. His kind gestures remain the same. I will run towards the only salvation I know. This life is short but the struggle never gets old. Let my cries reach his open ears. Let my tears be wiped by his skilled hands. Let my hardened heart unfold and blossom like roses in the springtime. May each petal shine with the dew drops of sparkling hope renewed.
Love always, Esha
Warning: These are my thoughts and feelings about my journey thus far.
As of late, I have endured one difficult situation after another. But one thought always creeps into my mind at moments like this... I remember that God will never give me more than I can bear and I know that He has made me to be a conqueror. So no matter what I face, I know that Jesus is mighty in battle therefore I already won.
For decades, I was under the belief that God forgot about me. That somehow the hard times were meant to return me into the dust from which I came. But it never occurred to me that the very things that I thought would kill me were only meant to smooth out my rough edges. There are areas in my soul that God wanted to take a sledgehammer to so that I could be used for His glory.
While I am in the middle of being formed into someone I couldn't become on my own I realize that... all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). Because I am stubborn but the changes that are happening in me are out of necessity. And I have to be okay with knowing that one day this will all make sense when I look over the totality of my life.
The hardest part about believing in God is trusting in Him completely. Yesterday, I felt like the world was out of whack. I looked in the mirror and questioned, how I could live a life that lacked stability? I wondered if I could survive without the presence of my wonderful Father and his witty yet crude remarks? Who am I without my Dad's 6 foot shadow towering over me and restricting my outlandish nature?
Relying on the unchanging hand God without the comfort of a patriarch to guide me is hard. Even though I see myself as an outspoken woman the truth is... I always had a strong male role model in my life. So I trusted in his judgement more than I should have at times. I ran to him for advice like a child running to an arcade game. Now I have no choice but to let go and let God.
My heavenly Father will have to replace the one I lost on earth. But life has taught me that there is no friend that can compare to Jesus. He died for me while I was in sin so I will live for Him. Despite the challenges, I encounter, my heart will endure as a result of my faith. In time, all the things that once made me cry will make me smile. And my crazy life story will become a testimony that encourages all those who wait for the break of a new dawn to rise in their bleak sky. Hopefully, I will lead people to remember that all children of God were made to shine.
Love always, Esha <3
I'm just gonna get it off my chest... My grandmother died last week. This is the third death I experienced in 10 months. First, my Father then my Auntie now this. So I stopped writing for a little over a week. I needed time to think. I needed time to take it all in. Ultimately, this grief has given me a new lease on life. But I needed to focus on something bigger than me and my worries and finally I found the spark to keep going. It's all my readers, God and laughter.
I want to thank you all for supporting my dream and reading my work. You make this all worth it for me and I am eternally grateful. The craziness of unplanned shock melts into the scenery. Like warm chocolate easing into a cup of milk that turns sweet and brown whenever you click like on a post or follow my blog. You're the best.
There are times when I come close to forgetting why I started this blog in the first place. I began this journey because I wanted an outlet to express myself. And most importantly, I wanted to encourage all those who frequented this website. Underneath every rock is a whole new world. As a child, I used to lift up rocks. I was always shocked to discover that worms, snails, ants, moss and other insects resided in the cool weight of their heavy gray bodies.
How could anything thrive under a rock I would think? Many of us have spent our lives carrying around boulders but instead of being crushed by them we learned how to survive. And in that vein I intend to find a way out from under the monolith of mourning. As I do so, I would like to inspire you all to pound your slab of rock into gravel so you won't have to live underneath it anymore.
Love always, Esha <3
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| Image by Ely Penner from Pixabay |
In the course of life, you interact with people. Hold hands, join in laughter, cry together in moments of pain. Some connections last forever, others are reduced to a brief yet memorable moment in time. Yet some individuals are utterly forgotten like copper pennies rusting at the bottom of the sea. The blue salty water floats over their memory. But the truth remains the same. So you go through life with a vague, distant memory of a familiar face you once knew.
Love always, Esha
Are you still there?
After all this time…
I believed that you left our dreams by the waste side
I was under the impression
That you had forgotten the outline of my face
Locked in a different time
Dictated by the contradictions of an unknown place
It’s good to see that the impression of my love
Is still on your mind
Still… I’m surprised
That your heart wasn’t capsized
And captured by another
Years later, you see me as a friend and former love
For that reason and so many more,
I wish you well
I want you to have more friends than you can count
And more stories than you can tell
You deserve the moon, stars and the night sky they sit in
Because your kindness is indicative
Of a person that should always win
So despite our separation,
I’m pulling for you
I want to see happy and healthy
While in pursuant of a good life
Never settle for a person that’s not treating you right
Because your wild ex-girlfriend said so!
Love always, Esha
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| Image by Jan Alexander from Pixabay |
Speak life
Anger won't fix it
Pain will subside
But don't dwell in it
Be present in the joy of a new sunrise
Rejoice everyday that you're alive
Take to the highway
Watch the birds soar by
You are at the beginning
Of wonder and change
Machine
The machine says:
Don’t compute
Insert data
Running numbers
Synthesize
Cold to the touch
Metal core
Wires and cords
No spirit
Calculate
Load…
No emotion
Void soul
Work is made easy
Easy is made hard
No tellers at the register
Orders filled online
Digital realities
Electronic lies
Job once filled by humans
Computerized
Adding and subtracting has declined
We lack the patience
We ignore the delicacy of time
Rushing to oblivion ignoring the beauty of small talk
Forgetting the interconnected moments
That unite us all
Conversing with bankers
Shopping at the mall
Don’t compute
Insert data
Run the numbers
Synthesize
It's the technological age they say
This is evolution
Advancements is the solution
Have a life made of luxury
Love always, Esha
Check out my Podcast:
Hope Speaks Episode 11: Hope and Indifference
I read poetry throughout the segment. I also address the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial while talking about the problem with toxic relationships.
Listen to Hope Speaks Episode 8
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| Photo by Daria Shevtsova |
Be the odd ball. The one who rarely gets everything right but dances to the beat of their own drum. Stand apart from the crowd. Yell, smile and walk to the sound of your heart beat. Surely, you have the rhythm of life marching with you against the tapping heel of aged cobblestone.
Love always, Esha
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| Photo by 0fjd125gk87 |
There is no no lie worth living. Only the truth can withstand the storm of life. Fables pass away but reality will stand the test of time.
Love always, Esha
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| Photot by kieutruongphoto |
Let the naysayers talk?
What do they know about you?
Have they walked in your shoes?
Have they embraced your struggle?
You're made of flesh previously molded from clay
Pay no mind to the things haters say
They didn't create you
And their remarks and tidbits won't save you
So let the words multiply
Like smoke clouds darkening polluted air
Blackening clear sky
Taken in by unfortunate souls
What others call life
Is made inevitable
When negativity without hope takes control
People focused on the dislike of others
Lose sign of their goals
You were blessed to fly free
You're bigger than the adversary you face
Because when God is for you
It's easy to forgive others for their mistakes
Love always, Esha
The food lives not
It was cut from the root
Drained of it substance
It breathes no longer
Seeking sunlight no more
It’s days of grazing ran short
It’s freedom to roam cut off
While the world turned
The breeze blew
Days went on
While life was taken to sustain another’s…
The calf grew strong
Love always, Esha
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| Pic by Neotam |
How many of you have played with a slinky? Whether it's a rainbow colored one or a solid color. We are amazed by the beauty of it when it stretches. When it bends down the stairs. Only to watch it shrink and return to it's original size.
That's the nature of the slinky to be more than what it appears. To go further than the inexperienced eye assumes it can go. I believe that is the nature of the human spirit when touched by the hand of God. We can surpass the limitations of the world. We can expand beyond what we ever knew we were capable of as a result of living in our true purpose.
But are we willing to be uncomfortable in order to grow? In order to persevere. Or do we fear the thought of breaking if we are stretched to far? I am here to tell you that you were not made to break. God will keep you as you work toward his purpose and design for your life.
I can speak from experience and say that God has placed things in my heart that I was scared to pursue. But now I am casting that spirit of fear down. Because it can only hinder my future and offset God's plan. It is written in Psalm 34:4, I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Sometimes, it's easy to fear the unknown than to walk the path that we are called to take. But we must stand in our convictions and allow faith to push out the anxiety.
In truth, I question if I am making this post for you or if it's actually to encourage me. But it's my hope that Christ will bless all those who have endured these feelings. Because we believe that fear is necessary for our survival. But really it is an agent of disaster sent to strip us of the promise and gift of living a full and meaningful life.
I hope that this post is able to give insight and hope in a time of unexpected changes and challenges.
Love always, Esha
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| Photo by Isom Jacobs |
I need to believe there’s something more to this life. That I wasn’t born to suffer and remain misunderstood and mistreated as a result. Taking repeated glances in the mirror has shown me that I am a quirky, impulsive, witty, socially awkward, quick talking woman but with all my imperfections… I desire to be someone worth loving.
I have been trying to fix myself for so long. It probably started back in 5th grade. I didn’t want to be teased anymore. People constantly called me an oreo (black on the outside, white on the inside) so I tried to speak slang and I changed my clothes. Nevertheless, it didn’t help and I felt stupid for trying so hard. Because I wasn’t being honest with myself.
In my soul, I just keep praying that God made me for a purpose greater than I could ever imagine. Because the thought of being some science experiment gone wrong is painful to me. And the hard part is knowing that this world revolves around concepts I can't understand like social media, picture filters and perfectionism. Sometimes, I'm a little jacked up but my mission to improve myself has always revolved around being health conscious, spiritually aware and mentally stable. Sometimes, I look out among the sea of people and I wonder… where do I belong? Ever since my Dad died and I ended my 3 year relationship, I’ve been questioning everything.
Honestly, my Father is the only man that ever loved me or made me feel like I matter in this world. But now it feels like I’m discovering who I am all over again. Because so much of who I am as a person was tied into my relationship with my Dad. No matter what I did or how much I irritated him he was always so happy to see me.
I can still remember all the piggyback rides he gave me. When I turned 10 years old, he told me I was getting too big to ride his back. I cried for days. I was so upset that I couldn’t be his baby girl anymore until he made it clear that I would always be his little girl. Where did the time go? And who am I without my Dad? Will a man that I care for ever love me unconditionally the way my Father did?
I’m taking things one day at a time. I could fill an ocean with all the tears I’ve cried. I’m falling apart on the inside. But I can’t help but to think that this is part of the healing process. It would be easier to apply some crazy glue and put myself back together again. If I could just tape up my heart and attach all the things I lost in the course of losing my best friend I would be okay. But the truth is my journey to discovering who I am started long before travesty hit my life like a F5 tornado.
The truth is… I’m not broken. I’m different. And maybe I’ll never fit in but I’m going to try and find the way that’s predestined for me. Because even if I never figure everything out I know that I have a Father in heaven that loves me very very much. I hope everyone reading this knows that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. Keep the faith and never let a little bit of shade block your sunshine.
Love always, Esha
