This is an inspirational blog that utilizes the medium of poetry and creative writing to tell stories.
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| Image by J F from Pixabay |
We were close before
But distance came between us
Yes the feeling of love wouldn't leave us
And prayer lead us closer to a warm embrace
Before I knew you through a shallow lens
Know I recognize your face
You are the other half I never knew I needed
When others fail to understand
We are in agreement
Jesus is our base
And our foundation is strong
The second around with praise as our song
Love always, Ayesha
We don't need to look for love
Running in circles for a connection that's already there
Chasing down relationship
When Jesus always cared
Looking to experience temporary feelings
When you need something to last an eternity
Cheeks previously stained by tears
Seek soft kisses that rarely stay
Tender for a moment
Only to go away
We all need a love that will last forever
And always
Till Next Time, Esha
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| Image by Andreas Lischka from Pixabay |
It starts off small
A flame
That the cold, wind and rain
Can't extinguish
Questions follow:
Can I be redeemed?
Does Christ love me?
Is faith enough?
Maintained by hope
Nourished by the pages of a Bible
That are ever turning
But to believe
Your growth is tied up in learning
And yearning for the grace of God
He will pick you up
The Holy Ghost will comfort you
And Jesus will clean your wounds
You are not abandoned
And most importantly you are not forgotten
You are the sheep that the Shepard refused to leave behind
Every need you have supplied
You will have a friend in Jesus for the rest of your life
So when the world resents you
And casts you aside...
Just know that you are aided by the King of Kings
It starts off small
A flame
That the cold, wind and rain
Can't extinguish
Then it grows
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| Image by Mircea Ploscar from Pixabay |
Peace, ease, laughter and hope
The beautiful of the moment
And the time to cope
Surrounded and wrapped in dreams
That knows no bounds
Prayers sent to heaven
From quivering lips, dripping in hope
And answered with love
For once to know my tears, struggles and triumph
Are well thought of
I was fashioned and designed for a special reason
While I thought Jesus didn't care about my pain...
He was just waiting for me
To enter the right season
Love always, Esha
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| Photo by Brett Jordan |
Every time I'm convinced that I should give up. I'm pulled back in. Shaken and stirred by your love. Encouraged by your grace. Strengthened by your patience. Moved by your kindness and love. Surrounded by your beauty. And reminded in your word that I'm not alone. Jesus has brought me a mighty long way.
Love always, Esha
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| Photo by Jess Bailey Designs on Pexels.com |
I want to paint this neat picture of myself sometimes. By portraying a person that doesn’t exist but that’s not me. I’m honest to a fault. I can’t run be hid filters. I’m not afraid to show my imperfections because I spend my time trying to overcome them or learning to love them. So this is another side of me. I hope you like it.
Lately, I’ve had the oddest feeling. It’s as though I don’t want any of the things I once thought were important. At first, I thought that it was my duty to get married and have children. To live a life of tradition by building a family. But my heart no longer craves a partner. My soul has borne the grief of trying to make things work for too long. I have stained more pillow cases with bitter tears than I can count. And after my Father died, I longed for a love that I could hold onto that would hold me in return. Instead, I came home to the misery of a lover that I couldn’t trust. That utilized silent treachery. Keeping his thoughts and the content of his heart far from me.
For a decade, I ran from loneliness always clinging to the arm of someone that cared nothing for me so I wouldn’t have to be alone at night. Until I was backed into a corner and forced to spend time with myself. I have spent most of this year looking at my eating habits, career, prayer life, inspecting my personal goals and reviewing the breadth of my existence. Has my presence made this world a better place in any way? Or have I been selfish and self concerned? How do I treat people with the kindness that I desire to be treated with? Where do I go from here?
I don’t have the answers I seek. But I know that this upcoming year, I will continue to do the spiritual work that it takes to grow as a person. There is no relationship or friendship that will heal the pain I refuse to address or acknowledge. I was bullied constantly as a child and a teenager. It left me drained and searching for an identity that would keep me safe in a cruel world. So at times, I’m too tough or I freeze looking for words that are acceptable. Because deep down… I have always felt hated for being outspoken.
Though I may always be opinionated and a bit over dramatic I will continue to speak the truth. I don’t mind calling out my own flaws in the process. Because Jesus has granted me the grace and mercy to move past my indiscretions and forgive myself. And I look forward to the day, when I look back and laugh at the things that once made me cry. Because they taught me lessons that money can’t buy. Thank you for reading.
Love always, Esha <3
Jesus is so good.
When I am in trouble, when my heart is in need he comforts me.
Showing love and mercy.
I'm glad I have a friend that will never leave
Love always, Esha <3
The hardest thing to is forgive. You may forget times and places but you always remember how someone made you feel. There is no hurt more painful than losing the hope for positive interactions. When people make us feel bad we internalize that pain. And many take it out on themselves. By believing that they are deserving of poor treatment and wicked words.
Some connections are so broken that communication became improbable. Beyond arguing and yelling there is nothing of value that can be shared between enemies unready to bury the hatchet. How do you let go of the disappointment caused by a relationship gone sour? How do you my move forward with a friend that betrayed your trust? How do you hit pause on the grievances initiated by family gossip?
But at the core of it all, you have to remember that moving on is the best remedy for healing. If you hold on too long... It's possible that you may go down with a sinking ship that's filled to the brim with emotional disdain. Swimming in sadness is the answer for many of us. I have seen people drink the bottle dry. Pop pills till their higher than the afternoon sky. Sniff coke till their noses turn red and they get the sniffles.
Though it alleviates the sting of discomfort. But this does little to remedy the loss of trust. Drugs and alcohol are unable to address the ache in the heart of man. That's why I stopped smoking. I found myself at the end of the blunt and wondered quietly, Why don't I feel better?
It's healthier to deal with life from a sober perspective because the world medicates emotional pain but that solves nothing. So cry your tears. Ask your questions? Read books, dance, sing and shout. Fall down, dust yourself off and figure it out. Because life ain't easy but giving up instead of overcoming distress is much harder.
It is my long held belief that forgiveness starts one step at a time. But it truly takes effect when you forgive yourself. Because the things we endure have a way of intensifying the way we see ourselves for better or for worse. That's why it's best to view yourself the way Jesus does. Or at least try too. His love is never ending. He is loyal beyond the stretch of the imagination. He leaves the 99 to go after the lost sheep and rejoices when it's found. Because He cares for us more than we could ever conceive. So if you think about it, forgiveness is necessary in order to love and live a fuller, happier life.
Love always, Esha
P.S. Check out my podcast Hope Speaks for the new episode Rant on Relationships
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| Image by Debaudh Majee from Pixabay |
Time isn't afforded to us. It is a privilege to those willing to take it no matter the cost they pay. But I find my mind wandering and searching through vague thoughts that send radiating sadness down my spine. Looking at puddles of dirty water that still reflects me. Hardly a day goes by that I don't think about my former life. The good, bad and ugly memories spin and release film that sours my stomach yet brings joyful yet bitter tears to heavy lids. I will ring the bell of triumph and joy when freedom rings. These days I see much sun but the rays have failed to reach my heart. It beats for moments and times that are long gone. How do I fly above the circumstances that have grounded me? The peace that once comforted my soul has dwindled to a small glowing ember. I hold onto its warmth with both hands. My palms may burn but I grip it still. Praying the meager fire will grow and expand once again. In the depth of my despair, I pray that Jesus hears me. He is my comforter, protector and greatest friend. Time has never changed his love. His kind gestures remain the same. I will run towards the only salvation I know. This life is short but the struggle never gets old. Let my cries reach his open ears. Let my tears be wiped by his skilled hands. Let my hardened heart unfold and blossom like roses in the springtime. May each petal shine with the dew drops of sparkling hope renewed.
Love always, Esha
Happy Resurrection Sunday
You are valuable
Every hair on your head counted
All your triumphs and failures dearly noted
The black charcoal will soon turn into a diamond
When pressure is applied
And the shine of it will reflect off of dim places
Creating a light where none existed
You are the bright twinkle in the distance
Showing from a far
Signaling the lost and the down trodded
To a place and a person that is willing to hear them
Your prayers stand in the gap for many
A friend to those
Who never had any person that cared
You are welcoming
Because your smile is always there
It checks on people and reassures them
That everything will be okay
Your eyes relate the truth with simple glances
Giving people hope for second chances
When you speak to others
And show concern for their well-being
Relating respect and kindness from the beginning
No matter the struggle
You find a way to be supportive
Being a blessing to others in their time of need
You are a child of the King
Jesus died so you could live more abundantly
Love always, Esha
