Eagle

Image by Torben Stroem from Pixabay 

Bright green grass bends with ease and grace  

Latching on to the qualms of the day 

Swaying with the embrace of the wind 

Cool desires drench happy blades with ease 

The brown, hard soil cracks underfoot 

Meanwhile, aged, off-white feathers grip the open air 

Catching the warmth of endless sunlight 

Boundaries of earth melt away here 

Let the blue sky spread out before you 

Scale the height of it 

Take in the baby blue majesty

Live in the moment 

Shape your body effortlessly to flow in it 

Feel the passive breath lifting you higher and higher 

Now is the beginning of a new tomorrow 

Live for today 

Plan for the future you are unable to see 

Be eager in flight 

Sailing and soaring to unseen destinations 

In territories that curious souls dare to know  

Faith will take you to places 

That fear never will 



Love always, Esha 

It's Been Awhile: Update

Greetings, 

I know I haven't been posting as much as I normally do on this blog. But around the holidays sometimes I get a bit sad. Thinking about the things that once we're that will never be. Looking at the past that came and went so easily. Reminiscing over the desires of yesterday tends to trouble me. But I turn around anyway to catch a glimpse of my childhood and wonder how things changed so quick? Or maybe it was me? Growing and developing in ways that I could never foreseen. Most recently, I have learned to focus on the little things. They make me happy. The small triumphs in the complex web of everyday life. Once you look past the struggle and strife. There are always tidbits of gladness in the seams of melancholy moments. 

Love always, Esha  <3

Pray For Me

 

Image by michel kwan from Pixabay 

Touch this heart of mine so my eyes can see a little better. Make the burdens that held down my wings light as feathers. And if I break down again hold me together. I feel the pulsating water that flows slowly underneath thick ice. Though I try I can't sleep at night. My heart cries out for healing that my spirit needs. I desire to be joyful. In the bedrock of my anguish, I desire to be free. Hold my hand as I grip onto the hope of living word. Let the Father's will be done. In the meantime, pray for me. 


Love always, Esha 

 

Pic by Pixabay

Spicy words taste like Tabasco dreams 

Speak jalapeno to me 

Like cayenne peppers blowing back sweltering heat

Speak sriracha to me

Like hot sauce mixed with red chili’s and vinegar

Desiring a feeling of numb lips

Brought on by scorching truth

You can never be hotter than the searing sun

It shines for the world but bows to the Son

Yet I look toward the zesty flavor

Which burns with the fiery and passion of words spoken

With a hint of sizzling mustard sauce

It can not be cooled down by milk

It’s fire is tangy

Ignited by the truth of the Holy Ghost

Clearing the pathway to closed doors

Giving light to dark spaces

Changing the temperature and atmosphere

That’s why I like heat

Speak sriracha to me

Love always, Esha

My Truth: Flaws and All

Photo by Isom Jacobs

I need to believe there’s something more to this life. That I wasn’t born to suffer and remain misunderstood and mistreated as a result. Taking repeated glances in the mirror has shown me that I am a quirky, impulsive, witty, socially awkward, quick talking woman but with all my imperfections… I desire to be someone worth loving.

I have been trying to fix myself for so long. It probably started back in 5th grade. I didn’t want to be teased anymore. People constantly called me an oreo (black on the outside, white on the inside) so I tried to speak slang and I changed my clothes. Nevertheless, it didn’t help and I felt stupid for trying so hard. Because I wasn’t being honest with myself.

In my soul, I just keep praying that God made me for a purpose greater than I could ever imagine. Because the thought of being some science experiment gone wrong is painful to me. And the hard part is knowing that this world revolves around concepts I can't understand like social media, picture filters and perfectionism. Sometimes, I'm a little jacked up but my mission to improve myself has always revolved around being health conscious, spiritually aware and mentally stable.  Sometimes, I look out among the sea of people and I wonder… where do I belong? Ever since my Dad died and I ended my 3 year relationship, I’ve been questioning everything. 

Honestly, my Father is the only man that ever loved me or made me feel like I matter in this world. But now it feels like I’m discovering who I am all over again. Because so much of who I am as a person was tied into my relationship with my Dad. No matter what I did or how much I irritated him he was always so happy to see me.

I can still remember all the piggyback rides he gave me. When I turned 10 years old, he told me I was getting too big to ride his back. I cried for days. I was so upset that I couldn’t be his baby girl anymore until he made it clear that I would always be his little girl. Where did the time go? And who am I without my Dad? Will a man that I care for ever love me unconditionally the way my Father did?

I’m taking things one day at a time. I could fill an ocean with all the tears I’ve cried. I’m falling apart on the inside. But I can’t help but to think that this is part of the healing process. It would be easier to apply some crazy glue and put myself back together again. If I could just tape up my heart and attach all the things I lost in the course of losing my best friend I would be okay. But the truth is my journey to discovering who I am started long before travesty hit my life like a F5 tornado.

The truth is… I’m not broken. I’m different. And maybe I’ll never fit in but I’m going to try and find the way that’s predestined for me. Because even if I never figure everything out I know that I have a Father in heaven that loves me very very much. I hope everyone reading this knows that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. Keep the faith and never let a little bit of shade block your sunshine.

Love always, Esha

My Flesh

this flesh,

my flesh is soft, succulent and brown

a hue passed down

from my Grandpappy

it’s moisture maintained by shea butter

these are the lips

that gave sweet dreams to dry eyes

full and shiny like the sunrise

hands that cradled

water from many streams

used to toil, eager to clean

these are the fingers

that knitted woven things

this flesh,

my flesh is soft, succulent and brown

a hue passed down

from my Grandpappy

but sometimes it betrays me

cute can turn angry with no food

it cries out:

feed me before i turn rude

always wanting what it can’t have

trading in the desires of the heart

for all the shortcuts that make the spirit sad

it specializes in hiding the good

within a shell of bad

elastic

like a rubber band

it snaps back

tighter than spandex jeans

but when wrinkles do come…

my skin will wear it

as a badge of honor

come and see

the signs of a life well lived

look at the temple that gave

and still gives

this flesh is my flesh

and it is what it is

Love always, Esha

A Call Away

I stand at the end of the road waiting for you to join me. Wondering if I called out loud enough for you to hear. If you need me I'm only a call away. If you desire a shoulder to lean on I'm here. 

Love always, Esha