It's Been Awhile: Update

Greetings, 

I know I haven't been posting as much as I normally do on this blog. But around the holidays sometimes I get a bit sad. Thinking about the things that once we're that will never be. Looking at the past that came and went so easily. Reminiscing over the desires of yesterday tends to trouble me. But I turn around anyway to catch a glimpse of my childhood and wonder how things changed so quick? Or maybe it was me? Growing and developing in ways that I could never foreseen. Most recently, I have learned to focus on the little things. They make me happy. The small triumphs in the complex web of everyday life. Once you look past the struggle and strife. There are always tidbits of gladness in the seams of melancholy moments. 

Love always, Esha  <3

Future Generations

Check out Hope Speaks Podcast 

Image by Olya Adamovich from Pixabay 

People forgot about the young children 

Looking up to them 

Waiting for them to make a move 

That would change their lives 

Hoping that they take the right steps 

And hold their money tight 

While investing in business that take flight 

Let the future generations come to mind 

When you work 

There's no use in providing a roof for comfort 

If your assets have no worth 

Put the children first 

Why not save for college? 

Don't avoid the rainy day fund 

Some people will frivolously spend their money 

While others will hold off 

On having uncalculated fun 

Consider tomorrow 

Because time waits for no one 

Value the moments that the world can't see 

The work is done  

While easy going people are sleeping 

 

Love always, Esha  <3

God is Shaping Me for Sunshine

Warning: These are my thoughts and feelings about my journey thus far.

As of late, I have endured one difficult situation after another. But one thought always creeps into my mind at moments like this... I remember that God will never give me more than I can bear and I know that He has made me to be a conqueror. So no matter what I face, I know that Jesus is mighty in battle therefore I already won.

For decades, I was under the belief that God forgot about me. That somehow the hard times were meant to return me into the dust from which I came. But it never occurred to me that the very things that I thought would kill me were only meant to smooth out my rough edges. There are areas in my soul that God wanted to take a sledgehammer to so that I could be used for His glory.

While I am in the middle of being formed into someone I couldn't become on my own I realize that... all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). Because I am stubborn but the changes that are happening in me are out of necessity. And I have to be okay with knowing that one day this will all make sense when I look over the totality of my life.

The hardest part about believing in God is trusting in Him completely. Yesterday, I felt like the world was out of whack. I looked in the mirror and questioned, how I could live a life that lacked stability? I wondered if I could survive without the presence of my wonderful Father and his witty yet crude remarks? Who am I without my Dad's 6 foot shadow towering over me and restricting my outlandish nature?

Relying on the unchanging hand God without the comfort of a patriarch to guide me is hard. Even though I see myself as an outspoken woman the truth is... I always had a strong male role model in my life. So I trusted in his judgement more than I should have at times. I ran to him for advice like a child running to an arcade game. Now I have no choice but to let go and let God.

My heavenly Father will have to replace the one I lost on earth. But life has taught me that there is no friend that can compare to Jesus. He died for me while I was in sin so I will live for Him. Despite the challenges, I encounter, my heart will endure as a result of my faith. In time, all the things that once made me cry will make me smile. And my crazy life story will become a testimony that encourages all those who wait for the break of a new dawn to rise in their bleak sky. Hopefully, I will lead people to remember that all children of God were made to shine. 

Love always, Esha <3

Ugly

The ugliness is only a part of the transformation. Because the beauty of change lies on the other side. If you keep on going. 

Best, Esha 

The Joy of Change

Image by Jan Alexander from Pixabay 

 

Speak life 

Anger won't fix it 

Pain will subside 

But don't dwell in it 

Because peace lies on the other side 

Be present in the joy of a new sunrise 

Rejoice everyday that you're alive

Take to the highway 

Feel the breeze on your face 

Watch the birds soar by 

You are at the beginning 

Of wonder and change 

There is joy for those who refuse to stay the same 

Love always, Esha 

Changing Nature

Chip away at the block. Little by little. Day by day. It will take form. Becoming something different. Something new. Something that a transforming soul once knew. Before it was altered. Before faith and hope grew. And that is the nature of change.

Love always, Esha. <3

Growing With Change

A turquoise view through painted glass

Exists for me and you

Look out the window

Icy wind blows,

The hooting and howling

Can be heard down the block

Where the sidewalk is slick

And men move like serpents

Whispering into open ears

Begging to be closer

Utilizing deception to be near

Mahogany branches sway on mighty trees here

But never leave, bark keeps them rooted

Till their presence is cut off

Time passes…

But the plants remain the same

Not affected by snow

Doused by the rain

Maintaining and growing

Even when the world undergoes change

Rings etched into the base like hopeful reminders

Of a future ever blooming

Love always, Esha