Short poem: Come Home

Image by DyeAnnaBee from Pixabay

 

Here's the key 

I promise the door is always open 

My mind is disappointed 

But my heart is hoping 

I nearly gave up on searching 

Till I picked up the pieces that were broken 

All the while I pray that you come home



Please like, comment, follow and share. It makes all the difference in the world to me.


Love always, Ayesha 

Inflation and Prices Rant

The world is changing at an alarming rate. A dollar doesn't go as far as it once did. Some days, I find myself in shock and awe at the cost that the average costumer in the United States is contending with. It cost $6 for a gallon of milk; a tray of chicken wings can run you $25 easily and $7- $8 for a large bag of chips. This year has been rough for many of us that once believed in the America dream. 

While I believe things will improve eventually... the lack of funding for social programs like food pantries has created a major gap for those enduring financial insecurity. It seems though scrapping by has become a regular expectation in this society. Social media was once used to show lavish lifestyles but as of late it has become a venting place for everyday people enduring changing. 

For instance, TicTok was primarily used for trendy dances, but a sentiment has taken hold on the platform that once focused on good times. Many users are now coming online to express their dissatisfaction with the economic turmoil and inflation. Users are showing themselves in their most vulnerable moments which includes but are not limited to eviction, homelessness, hunger, layoffs and financial strain. There is a part of me that longs to say were living in the last days but that would be too easy. 

Instead, I will speak to the situation that many of us currently find ourselves in. According to 2 Timothy 1:7, God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. So, no matter what you're going through or hard the wind may blow you will not be moved. Because God planted you in good soil. Not only will you endure. You will prosper and live a full life. There is no limit to what you can do and achieve in Jesus Christ. 

This is a time to focus and lock in. Because many people panic but this is a time for those who are determine, prayerful and eager to see miracles. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. There have been so many times in my life when I wanted to give up. When I assumed that the way was too narrow or the journey was too steep but little did I know that God was building me. Even now he is encouraging my soul and making a way for me out of no way. 

I will close with a short story. Towards the end of covid, I was having financial problems, and I didn't know how I was gonna make it. I spent the last of my money fixing my car and due to job loss, I wasn't working. Bills were overflowing and I was at a loss for words, but I kept on believing that God would make a way. One day, I received money from the bank because they said I was over changed. I started receiving random jobs here and there that pushed me along and before you knew it, I was in the clear. 

This experience taught me that no situation is too big for God. He owns cattle on 10,000 hills He made the universe, and I know he will provide for his children and then some. I will leave you with psalm 37:25, I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.

This is my poetry book if you would like more inspiration quotes and hopeful words: https://amzn.to/4mXitLS 

Please like, comment, follow and share. It makes all the difference in the world to me.

Best, Ayesha 

A Friend

Jesus is so good. 

When I am in trouble, when my heart is in need he comforts me. 

Showing love and mercy. 

I'm glad I have a friend that will never leave 



Love always, Esha  <3

It's Been Awhile: Update

Greetings, 

I know I haven't been posting as much as I normally do on this blog. But around the holidays sometimes I get a bit sad. Thinking about the things that once we're that will never be. Looking at the past that came and went so easily. Reminiscing over the desires of yesterday tends to trouble me. But I turn around anyway to catch a glimpse of my childhood and wonder how things changed so quick? Or maybe it was me? Growing and developing in ways that I could never foreseen. Most recently, I have learned to focus on the little things. They make me happy. The small triumphs in the complex web of everyday life. Once you look past the struggle and strife. There are always tidbits of gladness in the seams of melancholy moments. 

Love always, Esha  <3

A Thank You to My Readers

I'm just gonna get it off my chest... My grandmother died last week. This is the third death I experienced in 10 months. First, my Father then my Auntie now this. So I stopped writing for a little over a week. I needed time to think. I needed time to take it all in. Ultimately, this grief has given me a new lease on life. But I needed to focus on something bigger than me and my worries and finally I found the spark to keep going. It's all my readers, God and laughter. 

I want to thank you all for supporting my dream and reading my work. You make this all worth it for me and I am eternally grateful. The craziness of unplanned shock melts into the scenery. Like warm chocolate easing into a cup of milk that turns sweet and brown whenever you click like on a post or follow my blog. You're the best. 

There are times when I come close to forgetting why I started this blog in the first place. I began this journey because I wanted an outlet to express myself. And most importantly, I wanted to encourage all those who frequented this website. Underneath every rock is a whole new world. As a child, I used to lift up rocks. I was always shocked to discover that worms, snails, ants, moss and other insects resided in the cool weight of their heavy gray bodies. 

How could anything thrive under a rock I would think? Many of us have spent our lives carrying around boulders but instead of being crushed by them we learned how to survive. And in that vein I intend to find a way out from under the monolith of mourning. As I do so, I would like to inspire you all to pound your slab of rock into gravel so you won't have to live underneath it anymore. 

Love always, Esha <3

My Truth: Flaws and All

Photo by Isom Jacobs

I need to believe there’s something more to this life. That I wasn’t born to suffer and remain misunderstood and mistreated as a result. Taking repeated glances in the mirror has shown me that I am a quirky, impulsive, witty, socially awkward, quick talking woman but with all my imperfections… I desire to be someone worth loving.

I have been trying to fix myself for so long. It probably started back in 5th grade. I didn’t want to be teased anymore. People constantly called me an oreo (black on the outside, white on the inside) so I tried to speak slang and I changed my clothes. Nevertheless, it didn’t help and I felt stupid for trying so hard. Because I wasn’t being honest with myself.

In my soul, I just keep praying that God made me for a purpose greater than I could ever imagine. Because the thought of being some science experiment gone wrong is painful to me. And the hard part is knowing that this world revolves around concepts I can't understand like social media, picture filters and perfectionism. Sometimes, I'm a little jacked up but my mission to improve myself has always revolved around being health conscious, spiritually aware and mentally stable.  Sometimes, I look out among the sea of people and I wonder… where do I belong? Ever since my Dad died and I ended my 3 year relationship, I’ve been questioning everything. 

Honestly, my Father is the only man that ever loved me or made me feel like I matter in this world. But now it feels like I’m discovering who I am all over again. Because so much of who I am as a person was tied into my relationship with my Dad. No matter what I did or how much I irritated him he was always so happy to see me.

I can still remember all the piggyback rides he gave me. When I turned 10 years old, he told me I was getting too big to ride his back. I cried for days. I was so upset that I couldn’t be his baby girl anymore until he made it clear that I would always be his little girl. Where did the time go? And who am I without my Dad? Will a man that I care for ever love me unconditionally the way my Father did?

I’m taking things one day at a time. I could fill an ocean with all the tears I’ve cried. I’m falling apart on the inside. But I can’t help but to think that this is part of the healing process. It would be easier to apply some crazy glue and put myself back together again. If I could just tape up my heart and attach all the things I lost in the course of losing my best friend I would be okay. But the truth is my journey to discovering who I am started long before travesty hit my life like a F5 tornado.

The truth is… I’m not broken. I’m different. And maybe I’ll never fit in but I’m going to try and find the way that’s predestined for me. Because even if I never figure everything out I know that I have a Father in heaven that loves me very very much. I hope everyone reading this knows that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. Keep the faith and never let a little bit of shade block your sunshine.

Love always, Esha