This is an inspirational blog that utilizes the medium of poetry and creative writing to tell stories.
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| Photo by Brett Jordan |
Every time I'm convinced that I should give up. I'm pulled back in. Shaken and stirred by your love. Encouraged by your grace. Strengthened by your patience. Moved by your kindness and love. Surrounded by your beauty. And reminded in your word that I'm not alone. Jesus has brought me a mighty long way.
Love always, Esha
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| Photo by Pixabay |
The storm won’t last
You will prevail
God is in the midst
I do my Father's work
Foraging my dreams from clay
Breathing the breath of life into dirt
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| Photo by Jess Bailey Designs on Pexels.com |
I want to paint this neat picture of myself sometimes. By portraying a person that doesn’t exist but that’s not me. I’m honest to a fault. I can’t run be hid filters. I’m not afraid to show my imperfections because I spend my time trying to overcome them or learning to love them. So this is another side of me. I hope you like it.
Lately, I’ve had the oddest feeling. It’s as though I don’t want any of the things I once thought were important. At first, I thought that it was my duty to get married and have children. To live a life of tradition by building a family. But my heart no longer craves a partner. My soul has borne the grief of trying to make things work for too long. I have stained more pillow cases with bitter tears than I can count. And after my Father died, I longed for a love that I could hold onto that would hold me in return. Instead, I came home to the misery of a lover that I couldn’t trust. That utilized silent treachery. Keeping his thoughts and the content of his heart far from me.
For a decade, I ran from loneliness always clinging to the arm of someone that cared nothing for me so I wouldn’t have to be alone at night. Until I was backed into a corner and forced to spend time with myself. I have spent most of this year looking at my eating habits, career, prayer life, inspecting my personal goals and reviewing the breadth of my existence. Has my presence made this world a better place in any way? Or have I been selfish and self concerned? How do I treat people with the kindness that I desire to be treated with? Where do I go from here?
I don’t have the answers I seek. But I know that this upcoming year, I will continue to do the spiritual work that it takes to grow as a person. There is no relationship or friendship that will heal the pain I refuse to address or acknowledge. I was bullied constantly as a child and a teenager. It left me drained and searching for an identity that would keep me safe in a cruel world. So at times, I’m too tough or I freeze looking for words that are acceptable. Because deep down… I have always felt hated for being outspoken.
Though I may always be opinionated and a bit over dramatic I will continue to speak the truth. I don’t mind calling out my own flaws in the process. Because Jesus has granted me the grace and mercy to move past my indiscretions and forgive myself. And I look forward to the day, when I look back and laugh at the things that once made me cry. Because they taught me lessons that money can’t buy. Thank you for reading.
Love always, Esha <3
I keep it close to my chest
Holding onto it like a newborn child
Maintaining it's importance in my life
Praying and meditating on it
Believing with the faith that grows in my bosom
Understanding that the living word is a well
That never goes dry
Love always, Esha <3
Sorry I've been gone for awhile
I've been working, praying, staying focused
Driving quickly to the next place
Getting over the traumas of yesterday
While utilizing every second that leads to a new tomorrow
Preparing for the unseen blessings
And challenges that set my heart ablaze
Building the bricks of contentment one row at a time
While fighting for a day and a moment that is truly mine
Love always, Esha
Do you need a holiday gift? Do you need to get out of the house for a moment and shop? Come on through. We gonna have a good time! I'll be at Gateway Technical College in Kenosha, WI on December 3rd selling merchandise such as books, mugs, hats, scarfs and more.
Love always, Esha
